Friday, February 17, 2012

Acceptance


Ok, this is not my usual blog post. My art friend Jill Polsby did a recent post regarding the Wordle Website. An interesting website that uses a program to take words you enter & create what is called a wordle. Words used most often are larger & more pronounced. The website offers the ability to adjust things such as font, color, basic design. Very interesting - check it out if you can.

My wordle is a compilation from a poem of mine - what made me think of this old poem I do not know. But it came to mind, I grabbed the words & entered it. Above is the wordle it created from the poem, which I'll post here. This poem was written at a time in my life when I had much change and much stress.


Acceptance (1977)

Perhaps I speak too brashly, for you to just accept,
but my words do flow, from thoughts I hold,
that most of you have kept.

And maybe most my actions speak louder than my words,
for I live my life, as I see right,
in ways you think absurd.

       Please don’t stare at me with wonder,
       as you dwell on the life I’ve lived,
       for it was never thrusted upon my mind,
       but chosen by my head.

I’ll admit to things you may have heard about me down the line,
since I always say yes, when given a chance,
to experience some span of time.

Maybe the circle of friends I have doesn’t fit with your lifestyle,
but I can’t see, living seclusively,
to ensure a prouder smile.

And if my life depended on my virgin status quo,
I’d hold my breath & welcome death,
before I’d fake a role.

And if an act that I have done, some time in my past,
forms a wall, from which I fall,
and shatter down as glass.

I’ll once again climb back up from where I once did come,
to breathe free,  and just be me,
and not a dream of some.

       So stop staring at me with wonder,
       and don’t dwell on the life I’ve lived,
       you have your own life to take care of,
       before the time you’re dead.

       And no matter what I’ve done before,
       or will do with time ahead,
       nothing is thrusted upon my mind,
       but chosen by my head.

4 comments:

padmaja said...

Very interesting concept you have shared with a very profound poem..felt the vibes behind it.

jill polsby said...

Sounds liike a heavy growing poem, this is me, take me as I am, moment......which is a good thing, something that every woman, women in particular, need to go through and address. Wasn't that wordle site a lot of fun? Thank you for sharing with us.

CrimsonLeaves said...

Powerful poem, Nan!

Nan Johnson said...

Thank you all for your comments. Yes, this was a powerful poem - written at a pivotal point in my young life. Life had just gotten done with pulling the rug out from under my feet, so to speak, and I was feeling torn in two by well-intentioned, but over-whelming, families. Right before I wrote this poem, I had packed up, moved and left no forwarding address. I then spent the next 8 years searching for the very thing I later returned to find - myself! There's a story, and a book, in there somewhere - one day, maybe......

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