It's been 7 days since I last posted - it's been 7 days since I last painted. Haven't even picked up a brush or sketched. No ideas are floating in my head. Why? I don't know, I seem to have lost the desire.
At first I thought it was burn-out -- from pushing in January (& December & November) to do as many challenges as I could find. And I did do many challenges, each month, and I did push myself to get things done. The deadlines! Oh the deadlines, trying to get my time organized so I could make the deadlines.
I also pushed to get my second blog website up & running, so I could begin to post paintings for sale. The impetus for this, besides my own resolution for 2011, was a challenge on another blog. I dove into that challenge as well, and got the 2nd blog up & running the day before the challenge's deadline.
I have since taken that 2nd blog down. I realize that I did that to meet a challenge deadline, and that I was no where near ready for the undertaking. Sure, I did a single original painting for the challenge & I setup the 2nd blog. And I could continue to tweak the blog so that all the elements worked. But the truth is, I'm not ready for primetime just yet. It's not a lack of confidence, it's that I don't have my "ducks in a row" yet. And as my dad always taught me, "if you can't do it right, then don't do it at all." The next time I put that "For Sale" blog up, it will be because I am ready. (I still have to fully define ready, but quite frankly, one painting ready to sell is not what I would call ready!!)
But that will have to wait for another day -- I am waiting for my muse to return. I need some inspiration..... perhaps Spring. The last time this happened, it was 8 years before it returned. Lord, I hope it's not that long this time.
5 comments:
Sometimes when you find yourself pressured to do something you once found fun, that fun turns into WORK. There is no work muse. Get back to what you love, no sales, no deadlines, just you, a paintbrush, some paint, and light. You'll be back.
But no pressure.
Hi Nancie, I was moved by your post. I hope you can find the muse again -- not for deadlines or sales (although that is always nice) but for the sheer joy of creating something lovely. Have you tried Carol Marine's challenge at Dailypaintworks.com. Its really fun and no deadlines or pressure, and maybe help you find your groove again. You're too talented to let it go. I have loved watching you grow in your abilities and find your style, as well as seeing what you will paint next.
Actually, Nancie, I suspect that it is indeed burnout! I graduated from the university in 1998. At that time I was a single mom and had been working full time and going to school full time for 3 1/2 years. In between, I coached several sports at my daughters' school. I lived in fear and trepidation of their dad and whatever shenanigans he and his wife could think of to make life uncertain. When I finished school, I worked full time at my new job and stayed on part time at the original job. I was still a single mom. I moved back to IL in 2000 and again picked up two jobs, one full time, one part time. I had one daughter with me and wept over my oldest wanting to stay with her dad when we moved out here. Once I let the second job go, I took on another. I commuted to downtown and in effect had 18 hour days. I was still a single mom. Then I met my husband. We moved into a house, both girls of mine got pregnant, their dad died, and I somehow ended up working three jobs for a short period of time. To this day, I don't feel recovered and have so very little energy it sometimes frightens me. Now all I want to do is to stay home and do the things I want to do and I still am working.
You just be you, Nancie. Take some time to relax. To read a book. To do a piece of cross-stitch or something else in the creative realm that you want to do or have always wanted to do. I guarantee that you'll be back to wanting to paint before too long. I would suggest that you only try one or two challenges if you are up to them. It gets too overwhelming trying to do them. Whichever one has something in them that draws you in and makes you want to paint.
Hoping that it isn't 8 years either!!! (Egads!)
Nancie, I was a professional artist for probably 20 years or so, during which time my muse took regular hiatuses--often about this time of year. For me, the best thing to do was try another medium. It's stimulating to learn something new, and each new medium brings something fresh to your other skills. I just switched over to pastels and I can wholeheartedly recommend them to wake up your muse! Good luck!
Sometimes it only takes a 20 minute nap for me and I'm ready to go again after thinking I was finished, ka-put. Hope you find what works for you. LOVED your last painting/post!
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